There are a couple of things that have always drawn me to Survivor.
1. The girls don’t get to wear make-up
2. People get eliminated

Survivor seasons always sneak up on me when I’m in the middle of doing something else, like not watching Survivor. But not this time, America - this time I’m there from the beginning courtesy of my Digital Video Recorder. Cop the recap below and let me know how on I am.

What’s awesome about this year is that it’s the fans of the show vs. the favoritesfrom shows past. So, just try and wrap your brain pieces around that. It’s people who just watch the show from home versus people who have played the show before. Just think of the possibilities - you could be competing against someone who before, you just saw on television. Unreal.

Show Notes

The gay contestant, Chet, is easy to detect but Kathleen is still very proud of her discovery. She gives us gems like “Is calling you gay okay?” and “You want to be a girl, right?” Chet, however lets us all know that he is not easily offended so everything is okay. Whew! Kathleen delivers a strong third beat when she tells Tracy that she’s never seen breast implants this close up to which Tracy replies “what makes you think these are implants?”

In a very emotional confession, Ozzy reveals that this season is different because they are the favorites and they are going against people who are just fans. Someone from the favorite tribe encourages everyone to make a pact that they are going to kick so much ass. I didn’t see the other tribe make this pact so the advantage overwhelmingly goes to the favorites.

During a trip to the jungle, Parvati says that this time there is only one guy worth flirting with and it’s James - James says he “likes sex kittens and Parvati is definitely a sex kitten.” The shot of him carrying her out of the jungle in his arms happened right after they had sex in the jungle.

It was hard to tell whether Kathleen was crying, melting, or giving birth while in the glow of the night vision camera.

Eliza, Yau-Man, Jonathan, and Amy happen to be hanging out by the same tree at the same time and they all happen to trust each other indefinitely so they tell each other they love each other and it’s done. Alliance made, this game is IN THE BAG.

There was a lot of really nice b-roll in this episode. There were birds, rippling waters and a shot of a snake after Parvati said the word “snake.”

The Challenge

Run around towards some things, assemble these things, push the thing towards something else, run around some more, then run back and disassemble those things and then climb on top of it and it goes up and lights on fire.

The fans somehow win the challenge, which is shocking. I mean these are the fans, not the favorites – this is their first time playing the game and they’re playing the game against experienced players. Eliza hurts one of her huge eyes.

Tribal Council

The most entertaining person in the history of Survivor, Johnny Fairplay, has a pregnant girlfriend and a kid on the way so he wants out of the game. If he’s telling the truth then he knew this going into the game, so hopefully he’s not telling the truth.

Jeff Reads the Votes

To the disappointment of me, America, and myself he’s not lying and he gets sent home. A big reason to watch this show has gotten the boot after episode one and my commitment to writing about this show for an entire season just got significantly more difficult.